he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it's like iHOP with fire
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
