I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
