i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
