I got chris browned last night
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
