So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize