i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
