I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
