He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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