it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
