do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
