i was born a porn star she said
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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