Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Randomize
