Nicole vs. Life
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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