Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
