they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
