Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
