Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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