Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
