Your tits are I can't wait for
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
home. puking in laundry basket.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
