If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
