eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
