i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
