Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
