just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
