Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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