Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
