This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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