You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
