all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
