why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
