remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't deserve a penis
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
