Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
