Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
