They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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