'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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