it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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