You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Michael Bay diarrhea
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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