Nicole vs. Life
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
All I want is dick and wine.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
