how can u be prego again
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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