just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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