Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
