She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
