Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize