and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You ruined the universe
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
