we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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