I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
it's like iHOP with fire
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
