Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
