I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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