Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
