i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
