I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
