its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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